Why I Hate X-mas

(Readers take note, the author/doodle-er is in a very bad mood today. After all, what's a blog without a rant anyway?)

1) The Music!!! >_<

Now, x-mas music in moderation is perfectly fine. But seriously, how many versions of "Jingle Bells", "Silent Night", "Oh Holy Night", "Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer" etc. etc. ETC. can one take???

2) The Ads O_o

I know the ads go overkill during the holiday season, but seriously? Jewellery commercials, other commercials that promote the silly idea that you must buy 10 million presents so everyone loves you, and that stupid Santa sex pill commercial on AMC, I hate you oh so very much.

3) Religion Politics

It's when a bunch of idiots (perdominently white, middle aged, and some sort of authority figure) get together and, in an attempt to "not offend anyone", think that Christmas is an offensive holiday to anyone who is of a different ethnicity or beliefs. Meanwhile, does anyone outside this demographic really care about this? No? Then what's the problem with diversity? Let's continue on celebrating Hanukkah, Solstice/Yule, Christmas, Kwanzaa, etc. as we normally do!

4) The Crawl Space.

The crawl space is where we store all of the x-mas decor. It is a very small, tight space full of boxes and insulation that is falling off the walls (healthy!). It is also home to some spiders with disgusting looking legs and big chunky abdomens. The entrance way is located in a closet, so of course you have to get stuff out before going in limbo to get even more stuff out. Up until last year, you could sort of sense the presence of a spider or two, but if you saw one it was already in a mummified state. No worries. Now...I don't know what happened. It's gross to go down there.

5) The Food

Actually, this is more of a love/hate relationship here. Food is one of the things I like very much about Christmas. It's after Christmas where my body hates me for stuffing tons of cookies, perogies, pies, mashed potatoes, etc. into my already bulgy stomach and I gain like, 200 pounds. Enter laxatives...

6) Family Politics

I do enjoy seeing the family during the holidays, but like all families, we have our differences. In ours, we have this rule regarding family conversations; no politics, no religion. Simple enough, but it can, unfortunately, be forgotten. This is also the plus side of the food part of the holidays - ultimate distraction. Yes.

7) The Shopping

I'm lucky if I can get all of that done on amazon, but that has not happened once yet. Someday it will....someday.... The shopping can be tedious for these two reasons, a) dealing with other insane shoppers, in the flesh or in a vehicle, and b) just the thought of going to many different stores makes me want to crawl away in my house and grab a cup of tea.

8) Fruitcake

I know. Fruitcake is a staple for Christmas mockery. I've added it on my list only because, not only do I dislike fruitcake, but every year, I'm pressured to eat some. Just incase my 23 year old taste buds have had a change of heart. One exception was when I did try a piece to humour my sibling, and it was not bad - only because there was no peel in that piece. I've asked for no peel in fruitcake before, but does it happen? No.

9) The Stress

(Totally a Dragon Ball Z/Broly ripoff, but oh so appropriate. See clip below...)

Eventually, the stress gets to you. Enough said.

10) The Traditionalists

They love Christmas so much that any little thing that goes "wrong" or "not the way it should be done", it is a big, epic, production. If it's something that's really untraditional or done very differently, then x-mas is ruined. Really, it's just a holiday...and it's almost over.

I'm sure by tonight, I'll be in a better mood towards Christmas... In the meantime, hope you're not freaking out like I am, and I also hope you have a Merry Christmas yourself!